swolizard:

I don’t really give a damn bout the next generation of kids coming up not having the same shit we did being “90’s kids” and all but I truly do feel bad that they’ll never experience the month leading up to halloween like we did

Sat, 20th Sep — 7,890 notes

cakeandrevolution:

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

Fri, 19th Sep — 111,724 notes
lolatprolife:

tabloid-lover:

jamietheundeadamerican:

iwillmindfuckyou:

kneel-on-nails:

forever-kitten:

Damn son our uterus stretches like 5x the size and then contracts and pushes a 7 pound baby out of a small tube into life if you think that isn’t metal as fuck get out of my face

YOUR ORGANS THOUGH IM SO SORRY LADIES

damn selfish babies taking up all the space

NAW MAN, LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT PREGNANCY AND BABIES, ALRIGHT?
FIRST OF ALL, IT SUCKS DICK. FIRST OFF LET ME GIVE YOU A MOTHERFUCKING RUNDOWN ON WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T EAT OR DRINK WHEN YOU’RE PREGNANT.
SUSHI
EGGS
NO UNCOOKED ANYTHING IN FUCKING GENERAL ACTUALLY. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FISH.
ANYTHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT, WHICH INCLUDES COFFEE, SODA, CHOCOLATE (THAT’S RIGHT, NO CHOCOLATE), SEVERAL TYPES OF COOKIES AND CANDIES, AND ENERGY DRINKS.
VEGETABLES AND MEATS THAT ARE RICH IN NITRATES LIKE HOTDOGS, SAUSAGE, LETTUCE, SPINACH AND CELERY.
SO BASICALLY IF YOU’RE USED TO EATING OR DRINKING ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO QUIT COLD TURKEY THE SECOND YOU GET PREGNANT.
NOW I’M NOT EVEN DONE. YOU SEE THAT PINK UPSIDE-DOWN TRIANGLE BELOW THE BABY’S HEAD? YEAH? THAT’S YOUR BLADDER. BABIES SQUEEZE DOWN ON THAT LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW AND ONCE YOU HIT THE THIRD TRIMESTER, YOU BASICALLY HAVE AN ELDERLY PERSON’S BLADDER. MY MOTHER TELLS ME SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT LEAST 6 TIMES A DAY JUST SO SHE WOULDN’T WET HERSELF. ALSO WITH A BABY SQUEEZING’ UP AGAINST YOUR FUCKING INTESTINES LIKE THAT SAY HELLO TO CONSTIPATION NATION, EVERYONE.
SO NOT ONLY DO YOU HAVE THE BLADDER AND BOWELS OF AN OLD PERSON, BUT THAT GROWING HUMAN BEING GROWING OUT OF YOUR GULLET ALSO PUTS A HUUUUGE STRAIN ON YOUR BACK. NOT TO MENTION IT’S A PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS TO MOVE ANYWHERE, SINCE YOU NEED TO START WALKING LIKE SOMEONE OUT OF A MONTY PYTHON SKIT JUST TO GET AROUND EFFICIENTLY. ALSO THAT ADDED WEIGHT MAKES YOUR FEET ACHE SOMETHING AWFUL. SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?
WELL GUESS WHAT. YOU CAN’T TAKE ASPRIN. ABSOLUTELY NO ASPRIN. NO IBUPROFEN, NO NAPROXEN NO NOTHING. 
SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU IN PROBABLY THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE YOU WILL EVER BE, BUT YOUR MEDICINE CHOICES ARE EXTREMELY FUCKING LIMITED. (AND NO, I MENTIONED NO CHOCOLATE EITHER.)
DO YOU GUYS NOT REALIZE THAT THE FATE OF SOCIETY AND THE HUMAN RACE IN GENERAL IS BASED ON THE FACT THAT WOMEN MOSTLY CHOOSE TO GET PREGNANT? FOR LITTLE TO NO REWARD?! THE UNITED STATES ONLY GIVES 12 UNPAID WEEKS OF MATERNITY LEAVE ON AVERAGE. 
YOU WOULD THINK THAT THE FUCKING PROCESS BY WHICH OUR POPULATION CONTINUES TO GROW WOULD BE FUCKING REWARDED AND CELEBRATED, NOT SWEPT UNDER THE FUCKING RUG LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING DUST.
/RANT OVER

Greatest rant ever.

But nah, pregnancy is just an “inconvenience”
-Katey
I didn’t say “I love you” to hear it back. I said it to make sure you knew.

— (via latterman)

(Source: blk-yeezus)

Fri, 19th Sep — 299,867 notes

leahidea:

countsassmaster:

kingdom-fandom:

seaminglycomplex:

This is the best ASL Bucket Challenge I’ve seen so far.

THE FACE. WHEN THE WATER FALLS. OH GOD

She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s miss United States

who is she

(Source: iraffiruse)

Fri, 19th Sep — 255,378 notes
1st-ave:

royalxantoinettexblue:

eating chocolate does not trigger migraine headaches,
eating chocolate reduces the risk of heart disease and cancer.
eating chocolate does not give someone acne or other skin eruptions,
eating chocolate boosts one’s appetite, but does not cause weight gain,
eating moderate amounts of chocolate makes one live almost a year longer,
eating chocolate releases endorphins in the brain, which act as pain-relievers,
the sugar in chocolate may reduce stress, and have calming and pain relieving effect,
eating chocolate makes you feel better after a Dementor attack.

reblogging for the last fact
the-personal-quotes:

relatable quotes on your dash

ephemeralol:

nodoubtem:

Megan Fox makes her acting debut in the critically acclaimed film Holiday in the Sun (2001)

i like her in this more than another film

Fri, 19th Sep — 12,355 notes
the-personal-quotes:

relatable posts daily?
addelburgh:

incognito
bluedreambaybee:

grave-at-trenzalore:

followingthedeer:

sainthannah:

heatherbat:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.
…and history remembers her as pretty.

AND HISTORY REMEMBERS HER AS PRETTY

note

this is the first time I have ever seen a picture of her older than 20 and I think that’s scary


She’s still pretty, even in her old age.
I was just thinking about someone else touching you and now I can’t decide on whether I want to break their hands or my own.

i just want you all to myself, i’m sorry  (via geo-wee)

Fri, 19th Sep — 120,019 notes
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